DVD Pick of the week: BRUTAL MASSACRE: A COMEDY (Anchor Bay Entertainment)
Writer/director Stevan Mena, who scored with his 2004 feature debut, the stark shocker Malevolence, returns to the horror genre — not to bury or praise it, but to spoof it in the best mockumentary tradition.
David Naughton, a little beefier than when he played An American Werewolf in London nearly 30 years ago, enjoys one of his best roles as Harry Penderecki, a hack horror director (past triumphs include Bowel Movement and Killer Koala — “the first slasher movie for kids!”) desperately attempting to make a comeback with his latest slasher epic, Brutal Massacre.
Naturally, everything goes wrong: The production runs out of money. The locals are unfriendly. The actors and crew are ham pered by a severe lack of talent, Harry chief among them (though it’s a tight race)… and all of it is being captured on film by documentary filmmaker Bert Campbell (Vincent Butta), whose camera always ends up in the right place at the right time (or the wrong place at the wrong time, depending how you look at it).
The cheerful cast includes Brian O’Halloran as the assistant director, as well as some familiar faces from horror films: Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead) as the grip, Ellen Sandweiss (The Evil Dead) as the producer and Gunnar Hansen (the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre) as a loony local. At the end, a sequel is promised… well? We’re waiting. Rated R.
ALSO ON DVD
THE BLOOD ISLAND TRILOGY (Alpha New Cinema): A re-release of the popular drive-in trio of low-budget shockers made in the Philippines, all starring John Ashley and directed by Eddie Romero and Gerry De Leon (sometimes in tandem): Brides of Blood (1968) co-stars Kent Taylor and “Beverly Hills” (AKA Beverly Powers); Mad Doctor of Blood Island (1969) co-stars Angelique Pettyjohn; and Beast of Blood (1971) co-stars Celeste Yarnall. Each DVD includes an audio commentary with Samuel M. Sherman, president of Independent- International Pictures, which distributed them, and each DVD retails for $5.95. These are fondly remembered from my late-night TV memories as a kid. Hard to believe they were all rated PG!
BLOOD OF THE VAMPIRES (Alpha New Cinema): Director Gerry De Leon’s awardwinning 1966 Filipino shocker (released in the US in 1971 as Curse of the Vampires) sees an affluent family decimated by an outbreak of vampirism. Sluggish pacing works against the potentially interesting story, which occasionally smacks of soap opera in the Dark Shadows vein (no pun intended).
CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY (Anchor Bay Entertainment): Michael Moore strikes again with his latest award-winning documentary, this one taking (as the title implies) a hard look at the impact of corporate dominance in the United States. Not as sharp or as emotionally hard-hitting as some of his previous efforts (Bowling for Columbine, Fahrenheit 9/11), but important and insightful nonetheless. Rated R.
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS? (Sony Pictures Home Entertainment): You may wish you hadn’t. Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker flounder helplessly in this high-concept, no-impact comedy as a bickering couple forced by the FBI to relocate to a hick Wyoming town after witnessing a murder in New York City. From the obligatory culture-clash jokes to the inevitable arrival of the killer (Michael Kelly), this is embarrassingly predictable through and through — but it’s almost never funny. Mary Steenburgen, Sam Elliott and Wilford Brimley are wasted, as is the viewer’s time. One of 2009’s worst films. Rated PG-13.
DIE HARD DRACULA (Alpha New Cinema): Writer/producer/director Peter Horak’s ultracheap, ultra-campy 1998 feature debut, “distinguished” by its hilariously low-rent special effects, sees Count Dracula up to his old tricks in Transylvania, pursued by a bumbling Dr. Van Helsing (Bruce Glover, also an associate producer). Three actors are credited with playing the Count, with Art Vanik supplying the voiceover. Horak also appears in a supporting role. The score lifts everything from Wagner (“Ride of the Valkyries,” of course) to the score from Caligula. As stupid movies go, there have been worse, but low expectations are advised.
FALLING UP (Anchor Bay Entertainment): A pleasant romantic comedy with Joseph Cross as a young Manhattan doorman who finds himself falling for the daughter (Sarah Roemer) of one of the tenants. Not terribly surprising but attractively played by all concerned, including Annette O’Toole, Joe Pantoliano, Rachael Leigh Cook, Mimi Rogers, Gordon Clapp, Calvin Broadus, Peter Jason and Snoop Dogg, at his most likable playing Cross’ unofficial mentor. Rated R.
“LOCK ‘N’ LOAD WITH R. LEE ERMEY”: THE COMPLETE SEASON ONE (A&E Home Entertainment): Real-life Marine Corps drill instructor-turned-Hollywood actor R. Lee Ermey examines and explores a myriad of modern-day weapons in all 13 episodes from the 2009 season of the History Channel reality- TV series. This DVD boxed set retails for $34.95.
THE LONELY SEX (Alpha Home Entertainment): Writer/producer/cinematographer/ director Richard Hilliard’s 1959 feature debut stars Karl Light as “The Man,” a smalltown peeping tom who abducts a young woman (Jean Evans) after committing a murder. Richard Nicholls plays the kidnapped girl’s psychiatrist father, and Leon Benedict plays a boarder in their house, who’s a voyeur himself. This lurid, low-budget exploitation melodrama (replete with brief nudity) isn’t very good, but it is weirdly watchable.
NINJA ASSASSIN (Warner Home Video): Brainless bombast with Rain in the title role, battling (and beating) the minions of the same Ninja clan that trained, then betrayed, him. Plenty of action and not much else. Rated R. *
SATAN’S SADISTS (Alpha New Cinema): Russ Tamblyn toplines producer/director Al Adamson’s 1969 drive-in favorite, as a sadistic biker who terrorizes innocent motorists along a lonely stretch of California highway. This campy, mean-spirited, low-rent trash (reportedly filmed in 8 days!) hit the box-office jackpot and put its studio, Independent- International, on the map. The cast includes veterans Scott Brady, Robert Dix and Kent Taylor, future directors Greydon Clark and John “Bud” Cardos (who supervised the stunt work), and Adamson’s real-life wife, Regina Carrol. Rated R.
STAN HELSING (Anchor Bay Entertainment): Writer/producer Bo Zenga makes his directorial debut with this horror send-up starring Steve Howey in the title role, that of a video-store clerk (he works at “Schlockbuster,” get it?) who learns on Halloween night that he’s the descendant of the great monster-killer Van Helsing, which comes in handy when he and his friends square off against a bunch of familiar movie monsters and maniacs. Also on hand: Kenan Thompson (in a Superman costume), sexy Diora Baird and Leslie Nielsen (in drag). The hit-or-miss barrage of jokes tends to burn off its best ones early on, but unlike a lot of spoofs at least it sticks to the genre. Besides, any film that boasts a karaoke version of Southside Johnny & the Ashbury Jukes’ “I Don’t Want to Go Home” can’t be all bad. Rated R.
TRUCKER (Monterey Media): Writer/director James Mottern’s award-winning debut feature provides a solid showcase for Michelle Monaghan (also an executive producer) as a female truck driver who learns to bond with her estranged her young son (Jimmy Bennett) when her ex-husband (Benjamin Bratt) falls ill. Wellacted by all, including Nathan Fillion and Joey Lauren Adams. A real sleeper. Rated R.
“UFC: BEST OF 2009” (Anchor Bay Entertainment): Like the title says, this is a compilation of last year’s most noteworthy Ultimate Fighting Championship matches, featuring the likes of Brock Lesnar, Anderson Silva, Georges St-Pierre, Lyoto Machida and others. The DVD retails for $19.97, the Blu-ray for $29.97.
“THE UNIVERSE”: THE COMPLETE SEASON FOUR (A&E Home Entertainment): The mysteries and secrets of outer space are explored in all 12 episodes from the 2009 season of the popular History Channel documentary series, narrated by Erik Thompson. The DVD boxed set retails for $39.95, the Blu-ray boxed set for $54.95.
Mark Burger can be heard Friday mornings on the “Two Guys Named Chris” radio show on Rock-92. 2010, Mark Burger !
