Oh, the guilt: Everybody’s Fine lays it on thick
Forget all that hooey about decking the halls and roasting chestnuts on open fires. What the holidays are really about is the exercise of passive aggression toward your loved ones. You could be forgiven for thinking so after watching Everybody’s Fine. Or, as I have come to know it, The Sad Old Man and His Four Horrible Children. It’s not exactly a holiday movie, though the marketing portrays it as a kind of Four Christmases in reverse. It does end at Christmas, capping the longest guilt trip you’ll ever take at the movies. If you like your holidays slathered in pathos, step right up.
Robert De Niro plays Frank, the Sad Old Man. Frank’s wife died a few months back, and as the weather turns cooler, he’s really, really looking forward to seeing his adult kids, all of whom are supposed to come back to the family home for a nice long visit. He buys a new grill for the occasion. And some fancy wine. Gotta impress those Big City kids, you know.
And then the phone calls start. Amy (Kate Beckinsale) can’t make it — she’s a high-powered ad exec with a lot of work to do. Robert (Sam Rockwell) can’t make it — he’s a symphony conductor, and he has a big concert coming up. Rosie (Drew Barrymore) can’t make it — she’s a dancer in Vegas, and she just can’t get away this weekend. David can’t make it — he’s… well, nobody is saying why David can’t make it, but when he can’t get a hold of him, Frank starts to worry. Against his doctor’s advice — did I tell you? Frank has a lung disease, which he got on the job, which he worked at for 30 years because he was raising four ingrates he was foolish Sad Old Man decides to hit the road to pay surprise visits to each kid. In the process, he learns that everybody’s not fine. No, not at all. Amy’s marriage is in trouble! Robert — gasp! — isn’t a conductor at all, but a lowly percussionist! Rosie doesn’t own a swanky apartment — she’s only house-sitting for a friend!
These shocking revelations and more come to light as the children slowly — very, very slowly — find ways to tell to their father that they don’t mean to push him away. It’s just that his expectations have always been so high, and he was never as easy to talk to as mom.
This is what passes for conflict in this dull melodrama. It could all be resolved in about 15 minutes if any of these people would quit pussyfooting around and speak honestly to one another. But this is the point the film beats you over the head with: It’s sometimes difficult to do just that.
Well, fine. But there are better ways to say it. Instead of finding an innovative direction to take his story, writer-director Kirk Jones grabs a bloody handful of heartstrings and plucks away as hard as he can. After we watch Frank make excited preparations for a visit we just know is not going to happen, the audience is treated to a litany of Sad Old Man cliches. Here’s Frank, eating a sad little meal all by himself in his big, empty house. Here he is clumsily striking up a conversation with an indulgent stranger. Here he is gazing at pictures of his children in happier times, before they went off to the Big City and abandoned him. Once the action (such as it is) heats up, Jones still plugs in one of these little vignettes every five minutes or so, lest you forget how very sad and lonely Frank is. Everybody’s Fine might be the most nakedly manipulative movie of 2009.
To De Niro’s credit, he tries to bring some dignity to this role, but it creates some dissonance when he’s never quite as doddering and pitiful as the script indicates he should be. He’s not alone — the the material is beneath pretty much everyone here, even the seldom-brilliant Kate Beckinsale. Jones has a valid, if trite, point to make: Sometimes it can be hard to communicate with the ones you love the most. And it is sad that children eventually grow up, and that their parents cannot protect them from the world anymore. But the film wallows in sadness, and its manufactured conflict and greeting-card ending serve the message poorly, making Everybody’s Fine little more than a sappy, pointless odyssey for the holidays.
Forget all that hooey about decking the halls and roasting chestnuts on open fires. What the holidays are really about is the exercise of passive aggression toward your loved ones. You could be forgiven for thinking so after watching Everybody’s Fine. Or, as I have come to know it, The Sad Old Man and His Four Horrible Children. It’s not exactly a holiday movie, though the marketing portrays it as a kind of Four Christmases in reverse. It does end at Christmas, capping the longest guilt trip you’ll ever take at the movies. If you like your holidays slathered in pathos, step right up.
Robert De Niro plays Frank, the Sad Old Man. Frank’s wife died a few months back, and as the weather turns cooler, he’s really, really looking forward to seeing his adult kids, all of whom are supposed to come back to the family home for a nice long visit. He buys a new grill for the occasion. And some fancy wine. Gotta impress those Big City kids, you know.
And then the phone calls start. Amy (Kate Beckinsale) can’t make it — she’s a high-powered ad exec with a lot of work to do. Robert (Sam Rockwell) can’t make it — he’s a symphony conductor, and he has a big concert coming up. Rosie (Drew Barrymore) can’t make it — she’s a dancer in Vegas, and she just can’t get away this weekend. David can’t make it — he’s… well, nobody is saying why David can’t make it, but when he can’t get a hold of him, Frank starts to worry. Against his doctor’s advice — did I tell you? Frank has a lung disease, which he got on the job, which he worked at for 30 years because he was raising four ingrates he was foolish Sad Old Man decides to hit the road to pay surprise visits to each kid. In the process, he learns that everybody’s not fine. No, not at all. Amy’s marriage is in trouble! Robert — gasp! — isn’t a conductor at all, but a lowly percussionist! Rosie doesn’t own a swanky apartment — she’s only house-sitting for a friend!
These shocking revelations and more come to light as the children slowly — very, very slowly — find ways to tell to their father that they don’t mean to push him away. It’s just that his expectations have always been so high, and he was never as easy to talk to as mom.
This is what passes for conflict in this dull melodrama. It could all be resolved in about 15 minutes if any of these people would quit pussyfooting around and speak honestly to one another. But this is the point the film beats you over the head with: It’s sometimes difficult to do just that.
Well, fine. But there are better ways to say it. Instead of finding an innovative direction to take his story, writer-director Kirk Jones grabs a bloody handful of heartstrings and plucks away as hard as he can. After we watch Frank make excited preparations for a visit we just know is not going to happen, the audience is treated to a litany of Sad Old Man cliches. Here’s Frank, eating a sad little meal all by himself in his big, empty house. Here he is clumsily striking up a conversation with an indulgent stranger. Here he is gazing at pictures of his children in happier times, before they went off to the Big City and abandoned him. Once the action (such as it is) heats up, Jones still plugs in one of these little vignettes every five minutes or so, lest you forget how very sad and lonely Frank is. Everybody’s Fine might be the most nakedly manipulative movie of 2009.
To De Niro’s credit, he tries to bring some dignity to this role, but it creates some dissonance when he’s never quite as doddering and pitiful as the script indicates he should be. He’s not alone — the the material is beneath pretty much everyone here, even the seldom-brilliant Kate Beckinsale. Jones has a valid, if trite, point to make: Sometimes it can be hard to communicate with the ones you love the most. And it is sad that children eventually grow up, and that their parents cannot protect them from the world anymore. But the film wallows in sadness, and its manufactured conflict and greeting-card ending serve the message poorly, making Everybody’s Fine little more than a sappy, pointless odyssey for the holidays.
Log onto YesWeekly.com — click on the “Flicks” section. Then go to “What’s Showing”
Keep up with the latest movie news! Check out YesWeekly. com for movie times and video trailers from all your favorite Triad Theatres!
