From what I can tell, your excursion to Fake Paradise didn't exact too serious a toll. The accidental detour may have seemed inopportune in the moment, but you know what? I think it slowed you down enough to keep you from doing something rash that you would have regretted later.

Sarah Bernhardt (1844-1923) was called the most famous actress the world has ever known. She did a few films in the early days of the cinema, but most of her work was in the theater. At age 70, she played the role of the 13-year-old Juliet in Shakespeares Romeo and Juliet.

PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): One of the best new bands of 2009 was the Girls. Spin magazine selected their debut CD Album as the fifth best album of the year. After touring for months and selling scads of records, the band came back home to San Francisco in February to do a sold-out show at the Great American Music Hall.

PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): If you were going to launch a career as a rap artist any time soon, Id suggest that maybe you use the alias Big Try as your stage name. If you were planning to convert to an exotic religious path and get a new spiritual name, Id recommend something like Bringit Harder or Pushit Stronger.

PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): Historians trace the origin of Poland as a nation to the year 966. It mostly thrived for hundreds of years, but was extinguished in 1795, when three imperialistic invaders Russia, Prussia and Austria claimed different parts of it as their own.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Happy Valentine Daze, Aquarius! In my search for the counsel that would be of greatest help to your love life in the coming months, I decided on this observation by psychologist Albert Ellis: The art of love is largely the art of persistence.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I got an email from an Aquarian reader complaining that the astrologers she consulted in early 2009, including me, were wrong about the year ahead. All of us said it would be a time of expansion and opening for your tribe, a phase of rapid growth and fresh energy.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In the coming week, I predict that you will NOT experience disgusting fascinations, smiling-faced failures, sensationalized accounts of useless developments or bizarre fantasies in the middle of the night.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): One of the musical Jonas Brothers got married last month. Up until then, 22-year-old Kevin Jonas was a virgin, having long ago pledged himself to abstinence until his wedding day. Soon after he and his bride returned from their honeymoon, he issued his report at a press conference: "To be honest, sex was not worth the wait.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The number of bacteria per square inch on a toilet seat averages about 50. Meanwhile, your telephone harbors over 25,000 germs per square inch and the top of your desk has about 21,000. I'd like you to use this as a metaphor that you can apply more universally.