Rock-92’s Bubba’Lympics 2008 is wilder, wider than ever

Wilder and definitely wider than ever before, the eighth annual Bubba’Lympics competition was held Sunday at Wet ‘n Wild Emerald Pointe.

The event, borne of the popular “Two Guys Named Chris” morning radio show on WKRR-FM Rock-92, has become one of the station’s and the water park’s most popular events.

Chris Kelly and Chris Demm, the two guys named Chris themselves, again emceed the event, and yours truly was delighted and honored to again be called upon as a judge. Having knocked out the 48-Hour Film Project and Bubba’Lympics this summer, I’ll be awaiting the phone call to be selected for the jury at Cannes next year. The individual events at this year’s Bubba’Lympics included such old favorites as Spam sculpting, toilet-seat horseshoes, the cannonball jump, bobbing for pig’s feet and musical rafts. A new event this year was “Grab Your Melons,” in which contestants would attempt to retrieve a watermelon (with each contestant’s specific number painted on it) at one end of the pool and bring it back to the other. Hey, you try swimming with a watermelon and see how easy it is! Of the 11 burly contestants, eight were returnees from last year’s competition, including winner Big Jimmy and runner-up Big Scotty. Showmanship, which goes a long way in the judges’ scoring, was at an all-time high this year. Attendance for the event was also as large (no pun intended) as it’s ever been. Some of the contestants brought their own cheering sections with them, many brandishing (purposely misspelled) signs or other props that proudly proclaim them as individual Bubba boosters.

As for the contestants themselves, this is one of the few “sporting” events in which flab is encouraged. The bigger the better. It was obvious that some of the returning contestants took that adage to heart — and to belly. A pretty sight? Not

really. An impressive sight? Depends on what your definition of impressive is. One thing’s for sure: The contestants let it all hang out. With the combination aroma of pig’s feet and Spam — which many would rightly describe as a “stench” — wafting through the air, the judges made their decisions and the results were tallied.

Once again, it was amazingly close, with only four points separating the top four contestants. Fat Boy and Smitty, both rookies this year, showed their chops by finishing fourth and third, respectively.

But, in an almost exact reprise of last year’s results, Big Jimmy retained his crown for the second straight year, followed once again by Big Scotty. This warmed the hearts (or maybe that was heartburn?) of Big Jimmy’s contingent of followers, the Blues Creek Militia. Big Scotty expressed disappointment but vowed, much as Gen. Douglas MacArthur once did, that he would return.

For all the details (including photos!), see www. rock92.com/

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If you happened to read my cover story on the Dot Matrix Project last month (it was good), the next such event will take place Thursday at the Green Burro Sports Bar (106 W. McGee St., Greensboro). The bands performing, and being recorded and filmed, will be Possum Jenkins and Tom Beardslee.

The show starts at 8 p.m., and you may find yourself part of the show (or subsequent music video) as the filmmakers and photographers do their best to capture the live concert experience.

For more information about this event (and the project overall), see www. dotmatrixproject.com

To comment on this story, e-mail Mark Burger at marksburger@yahoo.com.

Clockwise from right: The Boogie Woogie Man from Rider’s in the Country. Deidra from the “Two Guys Named Chris” show holds up some yummy Spam. Some of the world famous Hooters Girls, including our friend Ashley, center.